I would love to share what happened to me this past weekend, as it has touched and impacted my life so deeply.

My girlfriend Pattie invited me to a Christian conference. She said this is where you need to be, on this date. After the crazy year, we have had a truly was feeling hesitant about it. Flying was not really something I was looking forward to and, honestly, a little nervous about the conference. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a Spirit-filled conference… we’re talking years! I’m excited to share what happened, as maybe it can bless you, and you can see yourself in my story.

The lady started off talking about how sometimes in life we are speed boats plowing our way through life and doing things in our own strengths. This hit me hard!
Protecting my family against covid
Making school decisions for the kids
Deciding on sports and which kid needs to be where
Fighting for my marriage
Fighting for my kids
Fighting for my business
Fighting for my weight and what size I want to be
Feeling like I pushing against the world

Maybe you can relate… I am the speed boat. Then she said what would it be like to be the sail boat, put yours sails towards God, and let Him blow your sails. It hit me like a 1,000 pounds.

I’m that speed boat, and I want to Rest in Jesus.

As worship started, I hit my knees and told the Lord I was so sorry. Somehow, even though I love prayer and listening to the word and Christian music, He was the co-pilot, not the Pilot. I knew where I went wrong… I was in my own strength, trying to figure out all my problems, and the world’s problems. I wasn’t giving it all to God! When I was on my knees I asked God to take it, it’s all too big for me, and I can’t even think of doing it on my own anymore! I had seen where I was off course! I wanted to drop the struggle and get my house, my heart, my life in order. What a beautiful gift I had been given within the opening session!

I had to say I’m sorry, I tried doing it my way, and my way was not working! Maybe you’re feeling just like that… you just keep swimming upstream and the blessing, or favor as I like to call it, is not there. Maybe it’s because it’s too big for you. What are you needing that you are carrying that is too great?
Finances have you so worried that you think there is no way out?
Maybe it’s your marriage, and you’re on the brink of divorce
Have lost trust and feel this person can never meet my needs? You’re just not compatible.
Maybe it’s your kids… are they going down a wrong path and you’re up nights praying but haven’t given it to God.
Maybe you have lost loved ones to COVID or sickness. The grief is unbearable.

What would it be like to truly let it go? Is today the day you don’t care what anyone thinks, and you hit your knees and ask God to take it, and you hand it over? Time to say, “I’m going to point my sails in Your direction and let Your holy fire and wind carry me to where I need to be. I fully trust that you are a Good Father and want only the best for me!” Or are you going to keep doing your own thing, fighting against the wind and the waves? I say lay it down; you were never meant to carry it!

Let me share… almost immediately after laying it down; miracles have happened. There are still things I don’t have answers for, but major things have shifted. I was so soft and sweet when I got home! But when I walked in the door, there was fighting with the kids, daddy was upset and he let everyone know! However, within an hour of my being home and feeling like I didn’t have to fix everyone, or every situation in my life, that I can just be love, everyone started to be so loving and kind! The kids were being so sweet and they had a softness and the look of love and gentleness. My husband became soft and sweet and ready to go to Church… something he’s been running from for a while and, if I’m being honest, I was too! My heart had become hard with all the trials of life and just trying to survive through a crazy, crazy season. Wow! Within an hour of my being home everyone changed and sweetness filled my home! Love filled it! My hubby was so kind, sweet, and gentle! Anger left my house!

It’s amazing… when you change, everything changes! My son Hunter, who is so smart with straight A’s, was wanting a scholarship. Everyday we were stressed over it! I had called so many times and got nothing, but remained in a huge waiting pattern! Within 5 days of being home we got a letter saying he got it! God answered a prayer once I just gave it over to Him, as I couldn’t keep stressing about it! He is so happy! My LillyRose went to a gum-ball machine. She had 3 quarters to get 3 gum-balls – 1 for her sister, 1 for one of her brothers, and 1 for herself. As I’m watching her get so excited over the gum-ball machine she sees a purple gum-ball in the middle. Her favorite color and this seemed to be the only purple gum-ball in the entire machine! She said “Momma I want the purple one!” I’m thinking of course you do and it’s the only one I can see right in the middle of all the other gum-balls. Her eyes lit up and she said “Purple! I want purple!” I’m like, Lilly there seems to be no purple but that one in the middle. I don’t see another one in the entire machine and it’s full! She just put in her quarter and a red came out. She said that’s for KelliBelle. Then she did it again and another red came out. She said that’s for Titus. Then, on the 3rd try, there was her purple gum-ball! I was like, that is a true miracle! Her eyes lit up and she said see momma I got my purple gum-ball! It was a miracle! I know in my heart, had I gone to that machine the day before my conference we would have never seen a purple gum-ball! It was a kiss from Heaven… just God showing me He cares about even the smallest of things, like a purple gum-ball! How much more is the Lord ready to take on? He wants all your battles because He can handle them!

I just wanted to share my blessing and hope it blesses you! My friend got me back on my path, as I was off course. Maybe you can relate.

Just let it go and give it over

Have a beautiful and wonderful day!


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